Motherhood is a beautiful thing. It’s the hardest and most rewarding job on the planet. I love the way Brené Brown put it when she said,
“The real questions for parents should be: “Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?” If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time. The mandate is not to be perfect and raise happy children. Perfection doesn’t exist, and I’ve found what makes children happy doesn’t always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.” // Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
My twin boys were born 12 weeks premature. At 28 weeks gestation, we really didn’t know whether or not we’d ever bring them home. Their time in the hospital was rough and their recovery was long. On the outside, they look the same as every other four year old out there, but on the inside, developmentally, they are less than half their actual age. This confuses a lot of new people in our lives and can often, at first, be the elephant in the room. In the early stages of recovery, we knew there was something different about our boys, but we weren’t sure what to call it. We were told their symptoms would go away and that they’d be “normal” by the age of two. I believed everything the therapists and doctors told us back then. Silly me. No one knows their child better than their mother. Am I right? I feel like now that we are settled deep into their Sensory Processing Disorder diagnoses, we’ve been able to adjust to what our life looks like and the things we can and cannot do. I have immersed myself in the vernacular of SPD, therapies, diet restrictions, and IEP’s. I do still have days where I get frustrated and wish things were different. I’d love to be able to take all of my boys, by myself, to the park or even on a walk down the path near my home. That’s not our reality. However, I would never exchange what we don’t have for what we do. They are perfect, crazy, little men that I insanely adore and love with all of my heart.
I struggle daily to find time and energy to invest in myself. It is equally as important to care for me as it is to care for my four sons. Sometimes by the end of the day, my feet and ankles are so sore and swollen that I am now the elephant in the room. This is when I sneak into the bathroom and soak my achy feet in the tub. I pour 1/4 cup epsom salt, and three drops each of Cinnamon Bark, Rosemary, and Wild Orange. These three oils, coupled with the magnesium and sulfate, decrease puffiness and increase circulation. Oh, and the aroma is heavenly! This little act of self love is just what I need to get up and do it all over again the next day.