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October 15th

By Julie Barron:

October 15th is Infant Loss Awareness Day.  This is a day that’s important to 1 in 4 women, but a topic that often flies too far under the radar.  Women’s health is one that sadly is still being fought for in our culture, right alongside emotional health.  So you can imagine that this topic is an intersection of both, it is one that often brings up feelings of fear, sadness, isolation, and shame, instead of one that focuses on hope, love, community, healing, and building relationships.

Having the chance to express our emotions is a capacity we are innately given to help us process and understand biological changes happening within our bodies.  They are cues to help us decode our bodies deep functioning.  They help us manage our outside world: stress, fear, joy, longing, forgiveness, hope.  When we recognize, and allow ourselves to experience and express these emotions we are able to physically and emotionally begin to understand, accept, heal, and move forward, particularly when the emotions are leading us through a difficult transition in our lives.

In my own personal experience, having the ability to have a “safe space” to work through my feelings has been the key to piecing together the best way forward to me.  Having someone to talk to and to help me process my emotions, or even to just say “me too!” and “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”  Sometimes all you need is to feel heard and acknowledged.

Another thing that has helped me feeling lifted up and supported on my journey has been using essential oils to support my body, and soothe those raw emotions.  Essential oils work with our bodies and brains seamlessly.  When we breathe in these oils the olfactory bulb in our brain lights up and activates our limbic system, which is directly connected to our memories.  That’s why our sense of smell is our most powerful sense; it’s the only one with a direct pathway to our brain.  And that’s why you can smell something and it can totally transport you back to a particular time and place.  Essential oils harness that ability to direct our thoughts and feelings.  Here are a few of the oils that I often turn to when I’m trying to process complex emotions:

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Cypress: This oil is particularly supportive to the female reproductive system as well as our nervous system (emotions), so it’s a great oil to turn to.  This oil often helps us to address our feelings, and I find that when I really need to process something I turn to it.  I apply it to my pulse points and heart center. This oils helps ease the pain of loss or separation.
Clary Sage: This is another oil very connected to our feminine side.  It can help encourage uterine contractions, which may be helpful if you are trying to help your body along naturally.  It also helps with feelings of anxiousness or feelings of self-doubt.  It helps us to regulate our hormones, allowing us to better manage our stressors.
Bergamot: Citrus oils are very positive and uplifting, serving as a balm for our souls.  This citrus oil in particular is noted for its work in our body to allay stress and feelings of anxious feelings helping us to sleep more comfortably.  This oil can also help with cramping and abdominal discomfort.
Lavender: This oil is well known for it’s ability to help soothe and relax our bodies and minds.  I love placing a few drops in an epsom bath to help me relax and reconnect.  It helps to calm our minds, soothes inflammation and discomfort, and helps ease all of our body systems.
Peace Blend: This blend from doTERRA is formulated to help ease feelings of anxiousness, to calm and soothe our nervous system, and to help us feel relaxed and connected.
Console Blend: This beautiful blend of tree and floral oils helps jumpstart our journey of emotional healing; allowing us to feel more at peace and hopeful as we process and begin to move forward.
Forgive Blend: This blend of oils is targeted toward renewing and settling our emotions to help us move forward.These oils help promote feeling of contentment, relief and patience.
Here are a few resources for those of you coping with loss as well:
Miscarriage Support: Basic knowledge, information, and support.
Look for a local support group in your area.  Ask your doctor for resources.  Here is a group I belong to.  This group is local to me in Iowa, but anyone needing support is welcome to join our facebook community.
Bearing Hope: a wonderful, supportive book written by a woman walking these same roads.
Don’t Talk About the Baby: an upcoming documentary telling our stories and supporting women
lovely blog post from another mother in the trenches with us.
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